Cleaning Up The Past

As I decide to change what I do with my free time, I realize that there are things I need to do to clean up what I had started in the past. Six years ago, I started a non-profit to help the community. It appeared that the community was unsure of our presence. We did what we could do to try to be one of the positive places on the street. I enjoyed every part of this organization meeting the people you may not normally meet, working with the city to get a problem house torn down and putting out a newsletter. Then I decided, two years after that, to stop working for a legal organization to babysit for my grandchildren and start my own business. Within months we were guardians of six of our grandchildren ranging from ages 18 months to 9, including two sets of twins. This took up quite a bit of my time and therefore I was not dedicating much of my time to the non-profit. I also then asked one of my clients if he needed someone to work in his office and I was hired to work for three private attorneys. I also published a book during that time. Now fast forward to today and we are now the permanent guardians of three of those six grandchildren, and I am working for two of the three attorneys. I have decided that I do not want to do my daily work as my side work or hobby. I enjoy taking pictures and writing therefore I will concentrate on those. While I make these decisions, I am reminded that I need to close out the items that have been lingering in my life. I have now deleted all email addresses and websites associated with those past endeavors. I will now go and close the non-profit as well as the side job. I also have several copies of my book that I would like to sell, as the publisher is no longer in business. We all have something in the past that we may need to take care of. Whether it be a hobby that you no longer do and need to clear out everything associated with it or just taking care of interactions with family and friends that you may have been avoiding. Just taking a little step towards cleaning up some of those items (now known as glitches if you are not working on them) has made me feel better and taken a load off. As we explore our everyday life, we may come across things that need to be taken care of. When this is accomplished it leaves more room in our lives to do the things we want to do now. As we change so do our lives and cleaning up the past is only part of moving forward. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

My book of photos and sayings.

A Simple Smile

Is all it takes to change the mood of the day. Lately I have been going through photos of my grandchildren to make books for them for Christmas. It has been a frustrating task as my computer is acting up and I do not know why. Each time I look at a picture where they are smiling, I am reminded to smile as well. Maybe if we all kept a smiling picture in our head when we get down or angered that could help us through tough times. Those smiling faces surround us every day a child in the street, an ad with a smile and our families’ smiles. I enjoy watching the wildlife in my front yard, but I also enjoy watching my grandchildren and children in the neighborhood play as well. The little girls playing with their new dog, my grandsons learning to ride their bike and my granddaughter learning different techniques to her artwork. Smiling has been known to bring happiness even in the darkest hours of our lives. As we go on this rollercoaster ride called our lives, we come across many glitches that tend to veer us off our paths. We must try our best to stick to the path to better our lives Each time we “slip up” we should look for that smile to let us know everything will be alright and we will get there. Just in case you need a little help or example I have shared my granddaughter’s picture as an example. Just look at how her smile lights up the room as she is so happy playing with one of our dogs. This is part of exploring our everyday life and embracing life’s glitches because without the glitches moments like this would not have as much meaning. See if you can find an old photo that makes you smile and make a large print out of it and hang it in your house where you will see it every day. I am sure this will help get you through some glitches. Thank your for taking the time to read my blog, have a good night and a better tomorrow.

Maya and Brooklyn having fun together.

Family and Community

Today I write about the times and trials of having a big family and how I look at it in a community. I come from a family of nine and sometimes that can be difficult, but I would not change it for the world. We have our issues but would be there for anyone that needs it. Just as we, as a family, are there through thick and thin so are our communities. We may bicker and fight about our opinions but in the end we are looking for the greater good for our group. We all suffer in different ways when something bad happens in our coummunity but we are all affected no matter what. Not all my family members are close but prior to our father’s passing we would all come together on special ocassions. Now we gather when we can and speak together as a group when we have to make family decisions or to support one another. Before today I didn’t think much of this as it relates to a community. Although our communities may not feel as if they come together, in times of trouble you have those in the community that you can count on. As I explore this community of mine I find individuals that keep to themselves as well as those that love to hold a conversation with those that will have them. These conversations although seemingly short are always informative on one level or another. Just as my family, when we conversate some may think “what are they talking about” while others find it fascinating. I implore you to take the time to listen to that neighbor that wants to talk, what they have to say may be more than just words coming out of their mouth. Exploring what someone says to you and how it is said can mean the difference between an argument or a meeting of the minds. You may have that one person in your community that you think is way out of whack. As I think of that one person in our family I realize that not everyone has the capacity to think about others as many of us do. Even in our communities we see people that go about their day without caring what others think about their actions and/or opinions. As I pause to think about this we do not know what is going on in that person’s head, as well as what has brought them to where they are. Maybe there is more to the story than what they are saying. If you can, reach out to that person and find a way to help, if only to nod when they are talking. Even if you do not understand what they are talking about or how they came to their understanding of whatever it is, always be polite. You never know what situation you will find yourself in the future. As we explore everyday life remember there are little glitches in everything around us we just need to learn how to embrace them for the better. Thank you for reading my post.

A Little Squirrelly

Yes, we are back with the squirrels again tonight. We started throwing peanuts out for the bluejay, which used to dive bomb for them several times in the morning. Most times now he only comes about once and the rest are taken up by the squirrels. They come in a range of shapes, sizes and colors just like humans. They are, mostly, accepting of each other. Although, sometimes they like to show who is boss by chasing some of the squirrels away. I watched as one such interaction took place. Two squirrels were chasing each other around the base of the tree about a foot up from the ground. Around and around they went until one decided, apparently, that it was tired of this circular running and getting nowhere and went up the tree. Just as we as humans sometimes get accustomed to going around on that proverbial circular track without ever figuring out how to get off from it.

Yes, I love nature and take many pictures of nature and now I have so many I am working on a way to share them with others. Back in 2016 I published a book with some of my pictures and some sayings that were God given to me. Unfortunately the publisher decided to close shop and follow his calling to become a minister and my books have been at a standstill shortly after being published. I did not start the book to gain fame or notariaty I just wanted to get my pictures and words out to those interested. To date I still have several copies and tonight I decided it was time to sell them on my own. So I will be making that journey along with other options to try and follow the path I originally wanted to be on. I write this tonight to piggy back on the blog last night wherein I spoke about the young lady getting her self-esteem back. She had read that you have to look within yourself to find out what you really want to do with your life and plan to go after whatever that may be. If we all followed our hearts to do good, we could all help one another with their paths. Squirrel, other animal or human we all play an important part in this world.

Just a Little Bit

As we all know there are several people in this world that suffer with low self-esteem, which we could consider a glitch in our lives. I am amazed at those that can dig themselves out of this issue at an early age. I suffered from low self-esteem for several years mainly becasue of my weight. At forty I looked in the mirror and decided I did not like what I saw and vowed to change. I was working in retail at the time and decided I had to do something about my weight and did not want to be in retail for the rest of my life. I lost fifty pounds and went to college and earned my paralegal degree. Even after that I suffered with low self-esteem, I thought I was still fat and hated my picture taken. This year I turned fifty-seven and even though I weigh a little more than I did in my forties, I saw myself as a beautiful person for the first time. I look back on those pictures and say “Wow, you were thinner in your forties than today”, but back then I thought I was too fat to be with anyone. It is amazing how little things can skew how we see ourselves. By the way I met my perfect match seventeen years ago and he has accepted me for who I am no matter what my size or employment. When you learn to love yourself you open up a whole new world. Even though I was outspoken and gave 100% to wherever I worked I never looked in the mirror and thought you are great. My advice to anyone struggling is to look in the mirror and let that person in the mirror know you love them no matter what. I have seen people go through many of the same feelings, some much younger than me that have taken charge of their destiny. I am proud of those that can do it at an early age. Although, I am proof that you can change anything at any age and feel better about yourself. So do not despair and think it is the end of the world. Hang on and it will eventually get better, you may have to ride that roller coaster but eventually it stops, the dizziness goes away and you then feel better. If you need help go get it. Whether it be reading a book, counseling or whatever you can find, that is non-destructive to your mental and physical well-being, that can help you through the roller coaster. I know a young lady that recently decided to take on her low self-esteem and began reading a book, taking one day for herself and getting out of a relationship that was going nowhere. Now she looks happier and feels better about herself. Someone once told me “You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself first”. I find that very true.

One of Life’s Little Glitches

While working with the court system I have come to realize that it isn’t easy for anyone that works in or with that system. They have a job to do no matter how we may feel about them. Do some people go overboard with power? Some may think so, but did we ever think that some are lax and others follow the rules to a tee? The attorney’s are trying their best to do all they can do for their clients and the court employees are doing everything to see that the laws are followed. I know this is off my post from last night but it is something I felt I needed to say. As we look at life around us we see all sorts of “glitches” and don’t think anything of it until it touches our life or the life of someone close to us. Please remember in these hard times that everyone that is working has a task that is expected of them and most do their job to the best of their ability. If a cashier is slow they may be struggling with how to pay their rent. If a meter person writes you a ticket it means that you did not obey the parking laws.

Today I was parked in a 30 minute loading zone and left my three older grandchildren in the car as I ran into the office to exchange files. My granddaughter called me and said “Grandma the meter lady said you have to come move your car or she will have to give you a ticket.” Wow, I thought I was only going to be less than the 30 minutes. As I came outside to move the car I was mumbling to myself that I had parked there many times before without an issue. As I was about to move my car I spotted the meter person and want to clarify things with her. She let me know the rules to parking in an unloading zone and I thanked her for letting this old lady know the rule I had never read up on. I was in the wrong but she gracefully made me aware of the rules and regs and we both went our separate ways. Could this have turned ugly if one of us let our feelings get in the way? Absolutely it could have but thank God we both kept our feelings to ourselves and dealt with the crux of the problem. In conclusion this is just one of life’s little glitches that I am glad did not turn into a major issue. Thank you for reading my post and have a good night.

Front Yard Birds

I have about four feeders in my front yard as well as three feeders in my backyard. The birds and squirrels all eat well from those feeders without too many issues, only the occasional disagreement occurs. Each morning when I go out to make sure they are filled I find the joy in watching how the birds react to my presence. In the back yard there are few birds except for the nuthatch. The nuthatch will fly up a couple of branches and then watch me fill the feeder. It is astounding how close you can get to nature without interferring with their daily schedule. Speaking of schedules, when I go to the front yard feeders I am greeted by sparrows, downy woodpeckers and grackles (type of blackbird). They fly away when I head towards the feeders to fill them. On occasion I have had the pleasure of the downy woodpecker just holding still beneath his suet feeder. I also throw out peanuts for the squirrels and the bluejays. Today as I was cleaning and refilling the bird bath, the bluejay came down not two feet from me and got himself a peanut to take up in the tree and eat. The squirrels were playing nice today as they all hunted for the best peanut of the batch. As I watch all the wildlife that comes to my front yard I am amazed that I see the same demeanor in them as I see in my human companions of the world. As I looked on I notice a lone grackle walking away from the yard. His pace was slow and deliberate as if he had been rejected from the flock. How similar they are to us and yet how different. On a recent occasion, tragically a young bird was struck by a truck and wounded severely. Within minutes of this happening the fledgling grackles flocked around the injured fledgling and stood ground until the older grackles came to surround the injured fledging. After about five minutes it appeared the bird would not make it and the other birds flew away but, stood watch from the wires above. The way I see the birds and squirrels may not be the same as others but, I see them as little versions of human life with the same attitudes and problems that face our society. Working together has helped kept them fed as well as housed in hard times. People can agree or disagree with me. It does not change how I feel and never will, that is what makes us great, we all do not think alike.